Flatter abs, stronger legs…lifting that ass a few inches closer to God. Everyone has their own reasons to work on their fitness. Maintaining my workout routine and utilizing the power of endorphins after losing my husband was essential to my ability to survive – and eventually thrive.
My goals were smaller back then. Get out of bed, shower, do widow-like tasks. I was malnourished and emotionally taxed – I lost 20lbs in those first 2 weeks. Eventually, I gained enough strength to get back to some sort of physical activity. I had spent my lifetime skiing, hiking, sailing and swimming. These activities are my staples – they still hold together my purpose when I’m lost and bring me back to myself. Adventure and travel feel like home – no matter where I am geographically…
Although I had spent my time adventuring the oceans and mountains I knew that I needed something routine and manageable in my day to day while I re-built my life.
My Soul Cycle instructor, Daniela Dib, is full of passion and electricity – she is food for the soul. She often has us put our hand over our heart just to remind ourselves that we are alive. I still, 3+ years in, need to remind myself that I am alive.
The choice to show up for myself in that way has quite literally saved my life. My 45-60min yoga, weight or spin class would be the only time in my day that I wouldn’t think in circles. I’d often fail miserably to stay on the beat in that Soul Cycle class – but grief and loss strips you of ego and exposes your right down to the – soul. All that matters, in that moment, is that I feel alive.
Getting out of my head and into my body is how I make almost every life decision. It doesn’t lessen the load you carry but it clears the clutter and allows you to make a choice that comes from total presence. It makes the load more manageable – It’s not the load that breaks you, it’s the way you carry it. Endorphins are natural anti-depressants and are the foundation of healthy healing through anything you may be struggling with. Even if life is looking pretty good, we could all use the empowerment that comes from being the best version of ourselves.
Adventuring Loss was created to take you on a journey through grief and change, in any form it may arrive. Our adventures in the world begin when we look deep into ourselves and create healthy habits that compound (overtime) into something bigger than we ever could have imagined. The way we show up in our adventures is a reflection of the work we do daily. Looking at the big picture is important but I would amiss if I didn’t acknowledge the day to day labors (of love) and inspiring humans that allow me to get there.
“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will.” – Ghandi