Have you ever heard @dalailama speak about fear and anger? I’m often struck by his wisdom and of course his ability to meditate for hours upon hours. When The Dalai Lama speaks of his anger, grief, fear and pain he never says “I meditate.” He always says “I feel my mothers love.”
In my Post Traumatic Growth research, it is apparent that secure attachment (solid relationships) are a defining part of the way someone faces their own adversity – and whether or not they are able to find deeper knowing and sense of purpose, even in the most unfathomable horrors.
I think meditation is a great tool (I do some form of it everyday). And, when The Dalai Lama speaks of his mothers love, he places his hand on his heart. Connection. He draws on his connection to her to provide strength and solace. What drew me in the most about this connection was that his mother was not present. He was connecting with her through memories, heart and the minds eye.
It is my belief, you can have a secure attachment to someone who is no longer here. That connection matters.
There are many ways to build resiliency and to foster Post Traumatic Growth. Building safe and stable relationships is the most important. If you are someone who struggles with interpersonal relationships you are not alone. Your relationship to Animals, God, Nature, Plants… they all matter. Foster them. Nourish them. Water them.