Coping with Complicated Grief
Grief is a natural response to loss, a part of life’s ebb and flow. But sometimes, the process doesn’t unfold as we might hope. There’s no clear path forward with grieving or set timeline for when acceptance will settle in. Many people, with time and support, find ways to carry the ache and integrate it into their lives. But what happens when that weight doesn’t ease—when grief lingers, tangles, and overwhelms, making it difficult to engage in everyday life?
This is where complicated grief, also known as prolonged grief disorder, can emerge, creating barriers to healing and making it hard to find a way forward. Complicated grief is a state where the intensity of grief doesn’t diminish over time, and the loss continues to feel fresh and consuming, impacting well-being and mental health. You may feel as if life can’t go on, or that moving forward would somehow betray the memory of the person or thing you’ve lost.
This type of grief is more than just missing a loved one—it can dominate your thoughts, make it hard to connect with others, or create a sense of being “stuck” in the past. Complicated grief often comes with persistent yearning or longing, difficulty accepting the reality of the loss, and an inability to envision a future without the person or situation that’s gone.
What are Signs of Complicated Grief Disorder?
Recognizing complicated grief can be challenging, as grief itself is already so varied. As grief counsellors, we’re sharing some top signs that your grief may have become complicated:
Intense sadness that doesn’t seem to ease with time.
Preoccupation with thoughts about the loss or the circumstances of the loss.
Avoidance of anything that reminds you of the loss, or conversely, fixation on memories.
A sense of numbness or feeling disconnected from the world around you.
Struggling to re-engage in life or find joy in things that used to bring pleasure.
A belief that life is meaningless without what has been lost.
What Causes Complicated Grief?
During grief counselling, we’ve helped many clients cope with and understand complicated grief. The roots of complicated grief can vary from person to person, and it often involves a combination of factors. Traumatic or sudden losses, loss of a deeply significant relationship, or a history of other challenging life events may contribute to the development of complicated grief. It can also be more common in those who are already dealing with mental health challenges like anxiety or depression.
How to Begin Moving Through Complicated Grief?
Complicated grief requires a compassionate, tailored approach. This often involves:
Seeking professional support from a grief counsellor experienced in grief-specific interventions.
Allowing space for both pain and hope—creating room to honour your loss while slowly making space for a new sense of normalcy.
Building a support system—connecting with friends, family, or support groups who understand your experience.
Exploring rituals or practices that help you stay connected to the memory of what was lost while allowing you to step into the present.
Grief doesn’t have a simple “fix,” but with time and support, it’s possible to begin finding light amid the darkness. Complicated grief doesn’t mean you’re failing at healing—it means your heart is deeply holding on to something that mattered. And that’s something worth tending to with care.
Remember, you’re not alone. Adventuring Loss offers online grief counselling by our team of registered, compassionate counsellors.
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