How to Deal with Intrusive Thoughts: A Heart-Led Approach to Finding Peace
Intrusive thoughts tend to come out of nowhere, disrupting your peace, and may leave you feeling uneasy and worried about what they mean or how to make them go away. It’s important to know that these thoughts can happen to anyone, and they don’t define who you are.
As grief counsellors, we work with clients on this a lot and want to help you understand intrusive thoughts and share how you can move through them with compassion, rather than getting lost in their grip.
What Are Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts are involuntary, unwanted thoughts or images that pop into your mind and cause distress. These thoughts can be about anything—from everyday worries to more alarming or irrational fears. What makes them intrusive is the discomfort and anxiety they create, not necessarily the content of the thought itself.
The good news is that having these thoughts doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Our brains are wired to process countless bits of information, and sometimes, random or distressing thoughts surface. It’s how we respond to them that makes the difference.
The first step in managing intrusive thoughts is going from resistance to acceptance.
When an intrusive thought comes up, it’s natural to want to push it away. Maybe you’ve been telling yourself, “I shouldn’t be thinking this,” or trying to distract yourself, hoping the thought will disappear. But often, the more we resist, the stronger the thought feels. Imagine the mind like a garden—if we try to yank out every weed that shows up, we might end up disturbing the roots of the flowers we’re trying to nurture.
Instead, we can learn to observe these intrusive thoughts without letting them take root. This shift from resistance to acceptance can make a difference.
So how do we gently move through intrusive thoughts without giving them power over us? As registered counsellors, we get this question a lot and can share various ways to manage intrusive thoughts.
Here are a few heart-centered ways to deal with intrusive thoughts:
Acknowledge the Thought Without Judgment
When the thought arises, instead of pushing it away, acknowledge it. You might say to yourself, “I’m having the thought that…” This small shift reminds you that you are not your thoughts. You’re simply observing them. This creates distance between you and the intrusive thought, allowing it to lose its emotional charge.
Breathe and Ground Yourself
Intrusive thoughts often pull us into a spiral of worry, but grounding yourself in the present moment can help break that cycle. Take a few deep, slow breaths. Focus on the sensations of your feet being pressed into the earth, the feeling of your breath filling your lungs like a balloon, or the warmth of your hands resting in your lap. The goal here is to come back to the present and reconnect with your body, gently pulling yourself out of the mind's chatter.
Practice Self-Compassion
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you’re stuck in a loop of unwanted thoughts. Instead, speak to yourself kindly, as you would to a dear friend going through the same thing. Remind yourself that it’s okay to have intrusive thoughts—they’re simply a part of being human, not a reflection of who you are at your core.
Redirect to Self-Expression
Sometimes, intrusive thoughts stem from unexpressed emotions that are looking for an outlet. Whether by journaling, painting, movement or otherwise, consider outlets that feel natural to you as a way to express what’s bubbling beneath the surface. By giving space to these emotions, you might notice the intrusive thoughts quiet down, allowing for clarity and peace.
Challenge the Thought if Needed
If a thought keeps reoccurring, it may be helpful to gently question its validity. Ask yourself, “Is this thought true?” or “What evidence do I have to support or contradict this thought?” Sometimes, intrusive thoughts are simply irrational fears that can be soothed by logic and self-reassurance.
At Adventuring Loss, our online grief counsellors help you to explore your feelings, no matter how complex or overwhelming they may be.
Finding Peace Amidst the Noise
Intrusive thoughts can feel like an unwelcome storm cloud, but remember that you have the tools available to help navigate them. By practising gentle acceptance, grounding yourself, and nurturing your inner world, you can find peace—even amidst the noise.
And if you're looking for further support, connect with an Adventuring Loss online counsellor in Vancouver today.
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